Tuesday, 27 December 2011

The Resolutions

Despite the fact that I cannot stand New Years Eve (overpriced, overrated, forced fun with the biggest anticlimax EVER) i really enjoy making resolutions, and love the idea of a new year equaling a fresh start. Sometimes we can all do with an opportunity for a fresh start.
2011 like every other year has had its highs and lows. Breaking up with my longterm boyfriend, and then being 'broken up with' by the new guy i was seeing were two of the lowest lows. The biggest high has got to be the news we recieved on Christmas Eve that my brother had proposed to his longterm girlfriend Holly - so exciting! I also had my job contract renewed for another two years, super happy about that.
I've decided to leave all of the sad times firmly in 2011, and go into 2012 with a smile on my face because nobody has the right to make me feel sad, and there were times this year including now that i've felt sad when i dont deserve to. Im not going to go looking for Mr Right, he'll come along when the time is right. I am instead going to focus on working on a bit of inner happiness, do all the things i've always wanted to do and surround myself with the people that make me the most happy.
The Resolutions

- To run a 5k. Something i have wanted to do for a little while now. It will require a lot of time and training but well worth it in the end, something to work towards with a great sense of achievement at the end of it, and all for a great cause.
- To really try hard and work on my Spanish. When I was in Tenerife i was pretty ashamed that my friend Ricardo could speak such good English and i couldn't communicate much with him beyond 'Hola!'
- To throw myself into exercise. I know how good i feel about myself when im in shape and how rubbish i feel when im not. So definitely want to try hard to attend Zumba classes and do my 5k training. Aiming for a body like Alessandra Ambrosio...(aim high!)

I'm sure I will add to this nearer the time but that's it for now. Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, and have a fabulous New Year whatever you are up to :)

"Second chances don't expire until midnight" - New Years Eve (2011)

Friday, 9 December 2011

The day I met Marvin from JLS!

I'd had a heads up that JLS would be in the building so i thought at the very least i'd get to spot them but i never ever in a million years imagined that after years of fancying the pants off Marvin, that i would actually get to exchange words with him and have him HUG me!!

He's amazing!!!!!!!!!!
We went down to the cafe purely on a stalking mission, and they walked past us on their way to the dressing rooms. We hung around for a bit and then decided to head up via the dressing rooms to try and catch another glimpse. As we were walking towards the stairs, Aston and another guy came out and walked outside. I got a little bit excited and thought the rest of them must be upstairs so we kept walking and nearly full on bumped into the rest of them! Seizing my chance, i was like MARVIN..HI...I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI...then rambled an apology for being really unprofessional about talking to them at work but he was SOOOO nice, said 'no problem at all babe, really nice to meet you, what do you do here' etc chatting about my job, then talking about what they were up to (JB was standing right behind him on the phone to his mum, bless) and that they were heading out for lunch and then back in for filming Alan Carr...then we had pics taken with him and i nearly died..i couldnt even take a good pic of my friend, my hands were shaking so much. I literally didnt stop squealing with excitement the whole day. Meeting Marvin was everything i ever hoped it would be! Now i have to dispose of Rochelle and marry him myself..!! Also...he is even more handsome in person if thats even possible...swoon.

Sunday, 27 November 2011

I've had a fairly quiet weekend as I was ill with a sickness bug for the end of last week. It probably did me the world of good to be at home - not only because I was struggling to eat anything but so I could cry my eyes out in the comfort of my bedroom. By Saturday I was beginning to feel a little better, so my mum took me on a trip to Essex to cheer me up. I totally abused my bank balance on some wonderful new purchases (a Lipsy fur coat, winter PJs, CK Euphoria perfume -amazinggg- and various other bits and bobs) Not only that but she then took me to Brentwood to visit Minnies Boutique. If you dont watch The Only Way is Essex you probably wont have heard of Minnies but basically two of the sisters in the show have a little clothes shop (and when I say little i mean LITTLE, it is tiny) There were so many people in there you can barely move. I was lucky enough to go when Billie Faiers was working in there so I got my pic taken with her and got her to sign my cute new Minnies notebook.

She is absolutely stunning in real life! Those of you who follow me on Twitter may have seen the unedited version of this but i was makeup-less and looked horrific, so photo editing was much needed! Back to work tomorrow, kind of nervous, but annoyed that i've let this break up impact my job - it's just frustrating when everything at work reminds me of him.
Also, RIP Gary Speed..he worked on our show a couple of times and seemed a really nice guy, so sad for his family.
Hope you all had a nice weekend - and have a great week :)

Friday, 25 November 2011

Almost three weeks, one drunken encounter & a river of tears later, i am only just finally coming to terms with the fact that ex-Crush and I are over. Its tough. Sleep has become my favourite hobby - nothing is real whilst your sleeping and for a few seconds when I wake up I can pretend i'm still happy. Until the realisation that I am alone and Crush-less hits me like a bullet. There is a huge, gaping empty Crush-shaped void in my heart that needs to heal and close before I'll ever be able to invest that much time and emotion in someone ever again. The only thing that could make this whole sorry situation a little less painful would be one or all of One Direction teleporting to my bedroom for a cuddle.
In order to ease the pain of my wounded heart, I went shopping...
Saw this purse in River Island and fell in love - gorgeous black suede & leather with pink studs. Love love love it. Who needs a man when you have shopping? And magazines, books, chocolate orange and a Molly to snuggle with..

Friday, 11 November 2011

Turn it around with another round

Thank goodness its Friday and that horrible week is over! Work is not the place to be when you are emotion-central, blubbing uncontrollably. ESPECIALLY when you work with an office full of men and have to pretend that you have a cold (very unconvincingly, i might add) Luckily most people have been fantastic and supportive, and my friends have been absolute diamonds. Also a want to thank both Emma & Abby for their lovely comments on here and on Twitter. Thats one thing I love about the blogosphere, you can find support and kind words in people youve never met, it's lovely. So I managed to only cry once today, which is a bloody good effort if i do say so myself. He text me yesterday, checking to see how I am. Rather than tell him im an absolute emotional trainwreck, i ignored him. Until this morning, when I realised that later on down the line I didn't want us to have bad feelings and didn't want him thinking im a dick for ignoring him. I also didnt want to answer his stupid question (of course im not okay, you goon) so I simply said 'i havnt meant to be rude, i just dont know what to say'. He replied and said he wants to know im ok, because he still cares about me, but said maybe not talking to him is what i want. Couldnt be further from what I want :(
Onto a less depressing topic, i thought id share some (drunken) pictures from Halloween, as i've been so slack at posting! I dressed up oh so originally as a slutty devil, whilst my more inventive friend Crissy dressed as dead minnie mouse.

I really need a new Halloween costume, i think iv recycled this corset/tutu number for the past Halloween and Christmas too! Big night out with the girls planned for tomorrow, very excited :) Who needs men when you have friends x

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

I'm all alone for the first time in four years. The Crush ended things yesterday, and even though I wasn't anywhere close to being in love with him, I feel like i've had my heart wrenched out. I'm not unfamiliar to this feeling...I was with my ex boyfriend for 3 and a half years and in that time he cheated on me, and broke up with me three times. And i LOVED him - i know what it feels like to have a broken heart. This isn't a broken heart but its a wounded heart. I really, really liked him :( We had all the signs of a relationship. We saw each other regularly, i'd had dinner with his best friend and his partner, i'd met his siblings, my parents had had dinner with his mum, we'd been on holiday (I'm left with a printed photograph of us on a camel..me looking so happy, him looking as miserable as the camel, what do i do with it? I've hidden it away in my bedside drawer for the time being. Burning it is excessive and i dont feel ready to throw it away just yet...) we spent a happy fireworks night letting off our own fireworks in his garden, nearly setting fire to ourselves and firing a rocket that the wind took inches away from the neighbours Sky dish. I was so happy. He was happy. If i could turn back time to Sunday morning when I changed everything..well, i dont know if i would. I would because i'd still wake up happy, knowing that I had such a gorgeous guy in my life, but in reality i wouldn't because in the longrun me and my heart are much better off. He had underlying family issues, couldnt commit to an actual relationship (for the last six months we've been 'seeing each other'..practically a couple in every way, or so i thought) and that because he didnt like me enough to be able to open up about things, he said he wasnt sure about our future. Essentially I was a distraction from unhappy thoughts. In a way im so glad I was able to take his mind off things and make him happy, but at the same time i'm gutted that what i thought was the makings of a happy relationship was infact never ever going to turn into one. If i'd never asked him why he wont commit to being my boyfriend, i'd still be blissfully unaware that me and Crush were going nowhere. Sure we liked each other lots, we had fun, but we were going nowhere. It was like a slap in the face. I cried, he cried, it seemed so stupid that two people who really liked one another were 'breaking up', completely illogical.He drove me home, and as we pulled up outside 'Stereo Heart' came on the radio and i jabbed the button for silence, i can't listen to that song right now. I cant think about fireworks, or Lanzarote, and if i smell Paco Rabanne's One Million aftershave i'm bound to have an emotional breakdown. I sat in his car, made one last desperate attempt to see if the situation could be rectified, and he said 'i cant give you what you need, what you deserve'...and with that I leant over to hug him, kissed him (why did i do that? why?? I couldnt bare the thought of not getting to kiss him again, he was a bloody good kisser) and got out of the car. I don't think i've stopped crying since. People at work are sympathetic. My friends are diamonds. The consensus is the same - 'you can do so much better' 'hes not worth it' 'theres a million other guys out there who would kill to take his place'. Funnily enough the day before, I had a mystery 'package' delivered to my office...in the form of the most beautiful bouquet of 12 red roses. Initially the source was a mystery, but now I know who it is, and it truely did what it was intended to do, made me smile on a day that was otherwise very unhappy.

There are people who care about me, and i'm so, so greatful for that.
It's hard though, so so hard. To go from talking to someone every single day, to not talking at all, and wishing so hard that their name would flash up on a text on my phone. But theres no point, talking to him wont change how he feels. Now im free to meet someone who does want to be with me, and want to care about me the way i want to care about someone. I just want to fall in love again, without the cheating and the breakups this time please, and be happy. I just want to be happy. At least Molly makes me happy.

Saturday, 15 October 2011

Birdy - Skinny Love
Ed Sheeran - A Team
Maroon 5 - Moves like Jagger
Jennifer Rush - Power of Love
Jason Derulo - Don't Wanna Go Home
Dappy - No Regrets In the Dark - Dev


Hola! I have returned from my jaunt abroad to the sunny climates of Lanzarote, complete with a tan - happy days! Had a lovely time although the luxury 5 star hotel we were expecting turned out to be less 5* in some respects (food!!!) but that aside, the weather was a wonderful 33 degrees at its hottest, and i got to spend 9 days in the company of the Crush, who i feel it is time i introduced to you all after months of banging on about how much i fancy him. So...this is Jon.
Soooo handsome. Swoon. Other holiday pics, including our gorgeous massive hotel room:

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Maroon 5 ft Christina Aguilera - Moves Like Jagger
Whilst I feel that my aversion to coffee in its many forms (lattes, cappucinos, americanos, no thank you) segregates me from my fellow London commuters as I am about the only person without a copy of the Metro in one hand and a Starbucks in the other, I regain my (largely female) typical London commuter status in my love for Stylist magazine.
It makes the otherwise unpleasant journey sandwiched under a random mans armpit on the tube a lot more bareable, particularly if its anything like todays issue containing an interview with the lovely Sarah Jessica Parker (love love love)
With exactly two weeks to go til the holiday with Crush, i am eager to put in an intensive two weeks of hardcore exercise in order to be ready for two weeks of living in bikinis. I have started boxercise, or at least my own version of this. I have some little girly Reebok weights which I box with to the soundtrack of the Kiss top 40. Jason Derulo - Dont Want to Go Home is a particularly good boxercising tune!! Not only is it giving my arms a nifty little work out but it is a great stress buster.
Anyone got any sure-fire tips and tricks for getting bikini fit in two weeks?! please do share!

Sunday, 18 September 2011

Debit card abuse...

This weekend I have been very naughty and been shopping both days. On the Saturday I convinced Crush to go shopping for holiday bits and pieces. Instead of buying anything he needed (t shirts, swimming shorts etc) he bought a pair of designer Police sunglasses, tut tut. They looked really hot but designer sunnies are just so expensive! On that trip I literally only bought one thing - one of those Sleek Pout Polishes (barely there, or barely nude, or whatever its called I cant remember..smells lovely!) Today I went out locally with my mum and my brothers girlfriend, and ended up spending a small fortune..
I have been after chocolate Uggs for agesss. They are one of those things i always pick up, look at longingly, then put right back down because the price tag is a joke. £160?! No thanks. These are Bearpaw, which are a really good brand and are essentially exactly the same in terms of style and quality, but £40 in TK Maxx. Love them!
The mens version of this, 1 Million, is incredible. It makes me sniff strangers on the train haha (wierdo, much?) so after about 50 times of going into Boots, spraying this onto a card, smelling it, liking it, and not buying it, i finally bought it. Not at good as the mens version but still a lovely fragrance.
These gorgeous pink straighteners I bought from the wholesale store that my hairdresser works part time at. They are professional straighteners and were..wait for it..£15!! The wholesalers literally bought so many themselves that the bulk price allows them to sell them so cheaply. I figured id get a backup pair for when my GHDs give up on life. Plus they are pink, love them!

Im backkkk

Hey there!

Computer has decided to let me log on - it still wont let me publish posts so will have to publish this via iphone but its a start!
How have you all been!?
I've had a crazy couple of weeks workwise. The football season has literally kicked off so its all go. Gary Lineker has returned to our studio, always a pleasure to have the king of Walkers crisps flitting in and out of the office :D
Soo many celeb spots as well...it literally is my new favourite hobby. The Crush also loves a good celeb spot so it's almost a competition of who can spot the more famous people. Yesterday he beat me by spotting Sienna Miller in Soho when I spotted Peter Andre in the cafe at work..his was slightly more A List!

On Saturday I was literally in celeb spotting heaven - Crush took me to Sainsburys Super Saturday in Clapham Common and we spent the day in VIP as he got the tickets through work. It was literally A-Z list heaven. As soon as i walked in, the Sugababes were to my left. The Wanted were to my right. Una from the Saturdays was right beside me. Alex Reid was beside me at the bar. The highlight for me though was...wait for it...Nanny Pat from The Only Way is Essex!!!
Larry Lamb
The relatively hot one from The Wanted
The other major update in my life.....me and the Crush booked a holiday together! We are still on 'seeing each other' terms but hopefully this holiday will seal the deal. We are off to Lanzarote to a gorgeous 5* hotel for 9 days of pure bliss
So so so so excited!

Friday, 16 September 2011

I fixed my posting issue - happy days!
Turns out Internet Explorer is crap and Mozilla Firefox is the way foreward!
The only issue im having now is that blogger won't let me upload any pictures, is anyone else having this issue?! It basically just stays on the uploading page and doesn't actually upload anything. Tres frustrating.

Hopefully posting will resume as normal once this issue has been diagnosed - cant wait to get back into blogging!

Tuesday, 6 September 2011


Hello! Just FYI, I am still alive. Internet in my house has given up on life so just updating from the iPhone, pinching my neighbours connection (Its ok - the neighbour is my brother!)

Can't wait to return to blogging but who knows when this might be, got a lot to post about!

Hope you lovely ladies are all well :) x

Monday, 15 August 2011

Been so busy of late - have hardly had a chance to log on to my laptop.
Last weekend I was invited to the birthday party of one of our presenters, Scott, a former Chelsea player. He'd gone all out, inviting us to his beautiful home, where he's set up a fabulous marquee with a free bar, champagne, apple martinis..and a characturist! I had my beady celeb spotting eyes peeled. Sadly Fernando Torres didn't put in an appearance, but I did spy Trevor Sinclair, and Hayley McQueen (Sky Sports News presenter) I wore...

Black dress from Zara, with my bargain one pound primark belt, and my gorgeous new wedges!

Can you spot what I am wearing?! Yes...a Onesie!!! I was so happy because I went into Primark thinking I'd end up either a) not finding one at all or b) finding one that i didnt like that much but would buy anyway just for the sake of buying a onesie..but I really love the pattern of this one

Love it!
The day after Scott's party, I had to work at Wembley stadium for the Man City v Man Utd Community Shield Match. I was super excited because this was my first outside broadcast. It was so exciting recieving my access all areas pass, which meant I got to go pitchside!

I also got to go in the players tunnel, and had to escore Dwight Yorke to his car whilst he got completely mobbed by fans after the match, people in traffic were literally getting out of their cars to come and have their photo taken with him. Also managed to get totally lost with Glenn Hoddle looking for the studio!
Amazing how I went into my job being completely clueless about football and now I really do have such a newfound appreciation for 'the beautiful game'.

This weekend I went shopping with my mum to Romford - bought two Spanish dictionaries (really want to learn at least a little bit of the language), a new dress, and the book 'One Day' (have you read it? I hear its a bit of a tear jerker!)
On Sunday, the Crush came over for roast dinner with me and my family, and then we went to see Harry Potter, and all I can say is what an absolute anti climax! Was SO dissappointed! Have you seen it? What did you think!?

Hope you all had a great weekend - happy Monday!